Polite Dissent

Watching, or rather listening to, the music of Superman Returns reminded me of how much I loved the soundtrack of the original Superman movie. I’m not just talking about an exciting title theme (like the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme), but a soundtrack where the entire album is a good listen.

In reverse order, here are my top three favorite movie soundtracks:

3. The Princess Bride
Great music, especially the title theme.

2. Superman
The title theme and Planet of Krypton theme remain two of the best movie themes ever, but the whole album is good. Heck, I even used the Planet of Krypton theme as part of my wedding music.

1. The Last of the Mohicans
The perfect movie soundtrack, from start to finish. It’s easy to picture the scenes in the movie just listening to the music, and the entire album is a good listen.

Tags: movies soundtracks princess bride superman last of the mohicans ponderables

No major plot spoilers, but still it’s best to be forewarned:

First off, I enjoyed the movie very much. I thought Brandon Routh did an excellent job as Superman and the rest of the cast were quite good as well (Jimmy’s bow tie/plaid shirt combinations were too much though; no man is that color blind). The airplane/shuttle rescue scene was probably the best pure superhero scene I’ve seen in a movie yet. My main complaint is the villain. I just don’t think the movie Lex or his real estate plots are villainous enough to make him the needed supervillain. Or to put it more bluntly, as my wife did, the movie “needs more punching scenes.”

A couple of medical scenes did catch my eye…

1. Inhalers
Jason was using his inhaler wrong. He should not hold it right up to his mouth, but instead should hold it about an inch in front of his mouth. Ideally, he would get a tube known as a spacer to attach to the end of the inhaler so he would always use it at the correct distance.

2. Superman In The Hospital
First, remember the ABCs.
A (Airway) - Did Superman have a good open airway? In the beginning of the scene, the EMTs were holding his head in the proper position, but by the end they weren’t. Placing an endotracheal tube (ETT) would have been a good idea.

B (Breathing) - Good.

C (Circulation) - Not as good. I noticed nobody was perfoming CPR, but then he is the “Man of Steel” so it’s likely no one would have had the strength required for a good chest compression. The nursung staff tried to place an IV but couldn’t get the needle through his skin. (This is where the endotracheal tube I mentioned earlier would have been nice because you can put several of the resuscitation medications down the tube. It’s not as good as an IV, but it’s better than no medicine.) But then the doctors comitted Comic Book Writer Medical Error #3: they shocked a flatline*. Sure, it looks dramatic, but it just doesn’t work.

Second, it’s not in the ABCs, but given that Superman just sustained a major trauma, they should have brought him in on a backboard and in a cervical collar.

UPDATE: Forgot to mention that on the positive side, every medical provider in the ER was wearing eye protection.

*It sure looked like a flatline to me. However, later, when Lois visited him in the hospital, he was showing bradycardia (an abnormally slow heart rate) on the monitor, so maybe he just had a very very slow heart rate in the ER. In the case, the difference is moot because you don’t shock bradycardia either.

Tags: comics medicine superman superman returns inhaler

With Idependence Day just around the corner, this seemed like a good time to take a look at this United States Constitution PSA from the pages of Flash #65.

It offers a free information kit on Article II of the Constitution, which describes the requirements and powers of the Executive Branch of the U.S. government.

Click on the image for the full PSA

Tags: comics politics psa constitution

What would Independence Day be without a nod to one of America’s greatest families?

Happy Independence Day!
And for Heaven’s sake, keep those fireworks away from your eyes.

Tags: comics independence day partridge family

Tonight’s House episodes are repeats of the ninth and tenth episodes of the second season of House. Both are average at best.

The first, Deception, is about a woman House meets at an off-track betting parlor when she has a seizure. Despite the inclusion of the ubiquitous (on TV medical dramas, anyway) Muchausen’s Syndrome, the medicine in this episode is dismal. Go watch fireworks instead.

The second episode, Failure to Communicate, is about a journalist who suffers aphasia after a sudden fall. House and Stacey are in Baltimore, so he is only able to assist the Young Guns by phone. Another episode with poor medicine. You really should be outside watching fireworks, or at least watching the Tour de France on OLN instead. Trust me.

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Instead of two less-than-stellar episodes of House, how about some good medicine? Grand Rounds is the weekly collection of the best medical blogging on the web. It always features fascinating stories, advice, and insight into the medical field. Check it out this week at Rangel MD.

Tags: television medicine house grand rounds.

Your doctor has given you this information sheet because you have been diagnosed with Metal Eating Disease (M.E.D.). This rare disorder is caused by an infected bite from metal-eating aliens. It most commonly affects young red-headed cub reporters, though anyone who routinely encounters metal eating aliens may also be at risk.

It is best just to let the disease run its course. For the next forty-eight hours, avoid going anywhere that metal may be present. Do not drive your car. Stay away from electical devices. Do not carry large amounts of change. Do not read Iron Man. Avoid vending machines. Despite its name, Heavy Metal music continues to be safe to listen to.

Please note that while Metal Eating Disease is not fatal to you, it may be fatal to your social life:

It is best to completely avoid the dating scene until after the Metal Eating Disease has run its course.

Sadly, modern medicine has developed no cure for Metal Eating Disease.

Though there is no treatment for Metal Eating Disease, the disorder is self-limited and will resolve on its own in two days. In just forty-eight hours you’ll be as good as new…though please remember that you’ll set off airport metal detectors for the better part of a week, and don’t try to swim until the all the metal has passed through your system.

Images courtesy of Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen#68. Script by Leo Dorfman and art by John Forte.

Tags: comics medicine jimmy olsen superman disease

I was just wondering how Lex Luthor ended up on a tropical island when he was fleeing from an area just off the northeastern coast of the U.S.

Y: The Last Man #45 “Kimono Dragons, Chapter Three”
Y: The Last Man #46 “Kimono Dragons, Conclusion”
Brian Vaughan, writer
Pia Guerra, artist

In Y: The Last Man #46, Allison Mann’s mother describes herself as a “homeopathic surgeon.” I have some problems with this. First, I’ve made it no secret that I consider homeopathy pure and utter bunk. Second, given the definition of homeopathy, how can one be a homeopathic surgeon?

Homeopathy was started in the early 19th century as an alternative to the conventional medicine of that time. Given that the conventional medicine of the early 1800s was brutal and ineffective (bloodletting, trepanation, etc.) , this is understandable. In the two hundred years since, conventional medicine has become scientifically rigorous and vastly more effective, whereas homeopathy has remained mired in its pre-Victorian view of science and its repeatedly demonstrated ineffectiveness.

Homeopathy follows two principals. The first is the Principle of Similarities, which states that treating a particular symptom necessitates using a substance that causes the same symptom. For instance, if you want to cure a fever, you’d start with a substance that can cause a fever. Next comes the Principle of Infinitesimals, which states that extremely dilute solutions of this substance are required for treatment. How dilute? Not ten times, not a thousand times, not a million times, but many, many orders of magnitude — diluted well past Avogadro’s Number* so that it is unlikely that a single molecule of the original substance remains in the mixture.

Returning to Y: the Last Man, how can a surgeon be homeopathic? Does she use anesthesia that has been diluted so much it is nothing more than pure air? Does she use an incredibly dilute solution of scalpels to cut the patient? Maybe she means that she uses homeopathic medications when medicine is required, but given that she was discussing the use of Morphine and Cloves (Eugenol) in a previous issue, this seems unlikely. The story and characterization suggests that she is a surgeon who tends to use herbal and alternative medications, but not actual homeopathy.

I suspect that Vaughan is using “homeopathic” as a synonym for alternative or non-conventional medicine. It’s an incorrect use of term, but he’s not the first comic book writer to make the same mistake. (In fact, I’ve seen the term slapped willy-nilly over all sorts of dubious alternative medical therapies regardless of whether it actually applies).

As for the abdominal surgery in Y: the Last Man #45, I really don’t have any significant problems with it. It was an emergency surgery performed in an improvised operating room, so I wouldn’t expect all the fancy lights, equipment, and surgical garb one would find in a hospital. Vaughan also cleverly starts the scene as Dr. Matsumori is suturing the incision closed, so all but the clean up is over with. This allows Guerra to escape criticism over surgical imagery (though I have faith in her as she is one of the few artists who has consistently drawn the nasal canula correctly). If I had to nitpick, the scene seems mighty clean for an emergency bowel surgery, and I’m surprised there aren’t any surgical drains being used. I’m not even going to nit-pick the lack of surgical eyewear, because while it’s always a good idea to wear eye protection, OSHA is an American agency, not a Japanese one.

Tags: comics medicine homeopathy brian vaughan pia guerra

It’s that time once again to see what searches have brought people across the web to Polite Dissent. Capitalization has been added to make the searches more readable, but the grammar and spelling are untouched otherwise. As usual, my snarky comments are added in green.

Comic Related Searches

• Is Superman’s girlfriend pretty? All that matters is that Superman thinks so.
• Batman parents disappointed Death and the Maidens I think we all were disappointed with that comic.
• Clark Kent’s 8 pack abs Two better than six-pack abs.
• Green Arrow Longbow rape I’m sure we all can guess what this search was in reference to. For the record, I always though she had been.
• Zatanna naked The return of a classic search term.
• Wonder Woman groin I have no idea what they were searching for here, but I hope I answered their question.
• Lana Lang underwear ditto.
• Does Carter Hawkman Hall have a doctorate? Good question.
• John Byrne Vision Scarlet Witch genitalia I blame Chris Arndt for this one.

Medically Related Searches

• Do drug testes screen for Ritalin? I’m going to assume you mean “tests” and not “testes”, but the answer is yes — I suspect someone takingRitalin would test positive for amphetamines.
• Differance between cyst and mass A mass is solid, a cyst is hollow.
• Why is clostridium perfringens likely to grow in gangrenous wounds? You have it backwards, it is the infection with Clostridium that is causing the gangrene.
• Rh negative celebrities I have no idea. I’m A-, do I count?
• Cleaning a wound bleach Please don’t. While it’s true the bleach would probably kill any nasty germs, it would also kill many of your own cells, severely impeding the healing process.
• Rash where butt hits toilet seat Probably because somebody smeared something on the toilet seat.
• Medical term when scrotal organ burst out Painful
• Will the pregnancy test aome out positive when using the IUD? If you’re pregnant it will.

Homework

• Macbeth soliloquy she should have died hereafter. OK, here you go. From Macbeth, Act V, scene v, spoken by Macbeth:

  She should have died hereafter;
  There would have been a time for such a word.
  To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
  Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
  To the last syllable of recorded time,
  And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
  The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
  Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
  That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
  And then is heard no more: it is a tale
  Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
  Signifying nothing.

To Each Their Own (presented without comment)

• Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable having sex
• funny sex comics with the Teen Titans and Kim Possible
• Peter Parker adult fanfiction Norman Osborne

Miscellaneous

• Comics of nose Huh?
• Intravenous pumpkins Double huh?
• Obsessive compulsive personality disorder getting married Hope for neat spouse, or failing that, a patient one.
• Homemade defibrillator These two words should not go together.

In 52 #9, Renee Montoya’s useless cast returns.

On the good side, it’s drawn consistently from panel to panel, but on the bad side, this means that it’s drawn wrong every time.

You’ll notice the cast immobilizes neither the wrist nor the elbow; it just wraps around the forearm like a giant bandage.

Plus it’s week #9 now. She’s been in that cast (a cast she probably didn’t need in the first place) for five weeks, way too long for a “fractured elbow.”

Tags: comics medicine renee montoya fracture cast 52

DC got a great deal of use out of their AIDS PSA ads, and recycled a few of them in the 1990s.

First, there’s the JLA PSA with Booster Gold, Fire, and Blue Beetle (R.I.P.). The ad I originally highlighted was actually the revised ad (I found it in Flash #87, February 1994). The first one is nearly identical except that it features Booster’s classic uniform and Fire still has her powers (found in Hammerlocke #6, February 1993). In between the two ads, the JLA fought Doomsday with a disastrous outcome.

Click on the images for the full page ads

In these next ads, they didn’t update the costumes — instead they swapped characters. The ad I posted featured Hal Jordan. The revision replaces him with John Stewart. (Though I’m not sure which is the re-do. Looking at the art, I suspect Stewart was the original and Jordan the revision. The John Stewart PSA is from an older book — Darkstars #4, January 1993 — while the Hal Jordan PSA is from Catwoman #6, January 1994)

Click on the images for the full page ads

Tags: comics medicine psa hiv aids jla booster gold blue beetle fire green lantern john stewart hal jordan

Strangers in Paradise #81
Terry Moore, script and art

This issue of Strangers in Paradisetreats us to several medical scenes. The first deals with David and his brain tumor, and the second deals with anorexia nervosa. There is a third medical scene that deals with issues of a more personal nature. I won’t address it here other that to point out that their sample collection and storage plans seem overly simplistic.

I. David and his Brain Tumor
The brain tumor that David has is a glioblastoma multiforme. It is the most common primary tumor of the brain (that is, a tumor that originated in the brain, as opposed to a secondary tumor which is a cancer that has spread to the brain from elsewhere). Glioblastoma multiformes account for just over half of all primary brain tumors.

A glioblastoma multiforme is also known as a Grade IV Astrocytoma. Astromcytomas are cancers that arise from the support cells of the brain, not the nerve cells. These cancers are graded from I (least aggressive) to IV (most aggressive). This makes glioblastoma multiforme the most aggressive of the astrocytomas.

Symptoms vary depending on where in the brain the tumor is located. Headaches, seizures, partial paralysis, memory problems, and personality changes are all common. Tumors can hide deep in the brain and not produce any symptoms until they are quite large — this is what appears to have happened to David.

The median survival of a patient after diagnosis with glioblastoma multiforme is 3-6 months. Treatments such as radiation, surgery, and chemotherapy can prolong this survival to around a year, but there is no cure for a glioblastoma.

• David’s statistics that 10,000 people die in the U.S. every year from glioblastoma multiforme is correct.
• However, his stated expected survival time of 12-18 months is very unlikely — particularly in a tumor of that size — especially considering his choice not to treat it.
• I don’t like the way he calls it genetic. I understand that by this he means it is not caused by some outside influence such as infection or trauma, and that’s true. But as a doctor, when I hear “genetic” I think inherited disease, and that’s not likely to be the case here.
• The medical art of David’s brain is well done.

II. Casey and Anorexia Nervosa
The anorexia scene in this comic is well done. The acute symptoms shown are common (dehydration, electrolyte imbalance, and cardiac arrhythmias). Casey herself mentions some of the long term complications. She discusses having to take supplements daily for the rest of her life (In this, I assume she is referring to calcium and vitamin supplements related to the osteoporosis caused by her anorexia). She also mentions infertility, which can be another long term complication of anorexia. I would also like to point out the high mortality associated with anorexia (10-18%, the highest of any psychiatric disorder) and the high relapse rate (only about half recover completely).

Previous Strangers in Paradise Medical Reviews: Strangers in Paradise #61-63 (”David’s Story”) Strangers in Paradise #36 (Tambi and Bambi’s fight to the death).

Tags: comics medicine strangers in paradise terry moore brain tumor glioblastoma anorexia nervosa

Key risk factors for heart attacks include: family history of heart disease, high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, diabetes, smoking, obesity, sedentary lifestyle, and being a minor character who knows Jimmy Olsen..

Scenes from Superman Family #199 and #222

 

Previous Peeks at the Life of Jimmy Olsen: The Heartbreak of Metal Eating Disease (Jimmy is infected) Here’s My Bed of Roses, All For You (Jimmy becomes a country singer).

Tags: comics medicine jimmy olsen heart attack

Panel from Superman Family #179 (October 1976).

Well now we know how Superman really feels. (So how do you think Clark Kent voted on the E.R.A.?)

Tags: comics Superman

To celebrate Bastille Day, let’s take a moment to remember that most famous of all French leaders of the resistance, that paragon of French female fighters: Madomoiselle Marie. (For reasons of brevity and not-having-to-spell-long-French-words, she is usually referred to in the comics as Mlle. Marie.)

Mlle. Marie appeared in Star Spangled War Stories from #84 (August 1959) until #91 (July 1960); these scenes are all from Star Spangled War Stories #87 (November 1959) . Since then, Mlle. Marie has appeared sporadically in other titles, though nothing recently. (However, one Batman story did suggest that she bore Alfred a daughter). More information on Mlle. Marie can be found at Toonopedia.

Tags: comics bastille day france mlle marie nazis

Starting tomorrow, it’s Bad Doctor Week, with daily looks at infamous physicians — both real and imagined. I’ll focus on doctors that have been rarely, if ever, been mentioned here before. Stay tuned…

Dr. Harleen Quinzel was a psychiatrist who managed to make it through both college and medical school relying on her personal charms and womanly wiles rather than any actual skill or ability. She applied for an internship at Arkham Asylum with the plan of turning her experiences into a best-selling tell-all book later. However, upon arriving at the Asylum, she found herself attracted to the Joker. She managed to persuade her boss into letting her conduct therapy sessions with him, but she was the one who underwent therapy. These were far from normal counseling sessions, and the Joker manipulated Harleen, tugging at her heartstrings and telling her waht she wanted to hear. After one of his escapes and post-pumelling return by Batman, she snapped, stole greasepaint and a costume and became Harley Quinn (This is according to the excellent one-shot comic Mad Love — set in the Batman Adventures continuity — by Paul Dini and Bruce Timm. The regular continuity Harley Quinn has a slightly different origin, but the key points are all the same. All images in this post are from Mad Love.)

Harley Quinn orignated on the Batman Adventures television cartoon (in episode #22, to be exact), but proved so popular she quickly appeared in the regular continuity comics as well. She even had her own 38 issue series from 2000 to 2004.

Since becoming Harley Quinn, Dr. Quinzel has rarely been shown to use her psychiatric skills and training. I recall one storyline (in Catwoman #89) where she used them in an attempt to brainwash Catwoman, but that was about it. Well, it’s not like she really paid attention in class anyway.

Remember what I said in an ealier post about psychiatrists — that they’re comic book shorthand for characters who are “off,” “creepy,” and “up to something.” As far as I’m concerned, this applies to Harley as well. She can be a fun character, but when you get right down to it, there’s something unnerving and more than a little creepy about the her.

• The Wikipedia entry on Harley Quinn.
• Harley Quinn fansites: Harley’s Haven and Harley’s Heaven.
• Gotham Girls, online WB Dini-verse cartoon starring Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn.
• Funny, she doesn’t look Jewish.
• Harley Quinn in Batman: the Animated Series.
• Arleen Sorkin, the voice of Harley Quinn
• The Birds of Prey TV series, with Mia Sara as Dr. Harleen Quinzel. (Mia Sara is probably best known for her role as Sloane Peterson, Ferris Bueller’s girlfriend in the classic ’80s movie.)
• Harley Quinn Micro-Heroes (scroll to the bottom of the page) and Thrillkiller Micro-Heroes, including that version of Harley.
• The IMDB entry on Harley Quinn Smith, daughter of director and alleged comic book writer (Whatever happened to the Bullseye miniseries? Three and a half years and counting) Kevin Smith.

Tags: comics medicine harleen quinzel harley quinn joker batman psychiatrist .

Dr. Karla Sofen was a brillaint psychiatrist* whose mother had to scrimp and save and work three jobs to put food on the table. Karla decided that she wasn’t going to end up that way and had no intention of working hard to make ends meet; she wanted all the finer things of life, and she wanted them NOW. She left her private practice and took up with another evil psychiatrist, Dr. Faustus, and helped him with his crimes. At one point, she became the therapist of Lloyd Bloch, the original Moonstone. Using her evil psychiatric skills, she convinced him that the stone was turning him into a monster. He handed the stone over to her and she took it to become the villainess Moonstone.

She worked for some time with the Masters of Evil, but when the majority of Earth’s heroes disappeared, she joined with Zemo in forming the “hero team” the Thunderbolts. As a Thunderbolt, she took the name Meteorite. After the Thunderbolts were exposed, she received a pardon for her past crimes and returned to her original name of Moonstone. Currenlty, in addition to her own Moonstone, she has taken possession of the moonstone from an alternate dimension which has dramatically increased her powers. Except she’s in a coma and Zemo controls the stones now. Or at least that’s what she wants him to think.

Dr. Sofen may be evil, but you have to admire her for actually using her medical/psychiatric skills. Her med school training and residency didn’t go to waste. I’m sure her actions violate the Hippocratic Oath somewhere, but at least she’s doing it in style.

*There is some debate whether Sofen is a psychiatrist or psychologist. Most sources state the former, but quite a few name the latter (and many are wishy-washy and list both). Marvel.com lists her as a psychologist, but the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe lists her as a psychiatrist — so that’s what I’m going with since it is, after all, official.

• The Wikipedia entry on Moonstone.
• Marvel.com entry on Moonstone.
• The Moonstone HeroClix.
• Who would win? Danny Phantom vs. Moonstone.
• The Moonstone Homepage fansite.
• Thunderbolt micro-heroes, including Moonstone and Meteorite.
• Information on the real world gem “Moonstone”.
• And of course Moonstone Comics, home of Buckaroo Banzai, Kolchak, and the Phantom.

Tags: comics medicine karla sofen moonstone thunderbolts psychiatrist .

A real world case this time: Michael Swango’s troubles were first noticeable during medical school at Southern Illinois University. Swango’s demeanor was brusque and he had no bedside manners to speak of. He seemed to have a peculiar fascination with dying patients. He also liked to take the easy way out, and was nearly expelled after being caught cheating during his OB/GYN rotation. In the end, the school let him graduate if he repeated the course work.

Despite a poor recommendation from the dean at the SIU School of Medicine, Swango was selected for a surgical internship at Ohio State University. That’s where the trouble really started. Nurses noticed that healthy patients on the floors where he was assigned happened to die…frequently. One nurse even caught him injecting some medicine into a patient who later became ill. The nurses reported their concerns to the administration, but they were brushed aside and only a superficial investigation was carried out. Despite being cleared by this investigation, Swango was not asked back to OSU because there were concerns about his skills as a physician and surgeon.

Swango returned home to Illinois and started working as a paramedic. Within a few months, the rest of the paramedics noticed that they would get violently ill whenever Swango brought any food in, or prepared the coffee. They investigated and found arsenic and other poisons in his possession, along with a book about poisoning. He was arrested, tried, and imprisoned for these poisonings.

After being released from prison, Swango worked various medical related odd jobs for a while, but eventually managed to bluff his way into a residency program in Sioux Falls. Things went well at first, but then he tried to join the American Medical Association. Unlike the hospital, the AMA performed a background check and discovered that Swango had no medical license and had a past felony conviction. About the same time, the ABC television show 20/20 aired a segment on Swangoand his poisoning conviction. When these were reported to the Dean of the University of South Dakota, Swango was summarily dismissed.

A short time later, Swango surfaced in New York at Stony Brook Medical School where he had been admitted as a psychiatry resident. Once again, his patients started dying for no apparent reason. When the dean at South Dakota heard that Swango had moved to New York, he called the administration at Stony Brook and Swango’s full history came to light. He was fired from yet another residency position. This time, the residency director learned from past mistakes and mailed a warning about Swango to every other residency in the nation.

A year later, Swango surfaced in Africa working as a physician in a rural hospital in Zimbabwe. True to form, his patients again started dying mysteriously. This time the police stepped in and he was arrested, but he skipped town before his trial date came. He hid out elsewhere in Africa and Europe and was close to taking another job as a doctor in Saudi Arabia when he was arrested at O’Hare Airport in Chicago.

Swango was extradited to New York where he was charged and convicted of practicing medicine without a license and fraud. While in prison for those charges, police were building other cases and he ultimately pled guilty to four counts of first-degree murder and was sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole. This plea bargain allowed him to avoid the death penalty and extradition to Zimbabwe. All told, it is estimated that Michael Swango killed thirty to sixty patients.

• The Crime Library report on Michael Swango (like all Crime Library articles I’ve read, this one is full of hypebole and trips over its own attempts at flowerly language. Still it’s chock full of good information.)
• Timeline and Documents of the Michael Swango case from CourtTV
• CNN article on Michael Swango.
• An AMA Op-Ed about Swango.

Tags:medicine news michael swango.

Tonight’s House episodes are repeats of the eleventh and twelfth episodes of the second season of House. The first one is an above average episode, while the second is below average. My advice is to watch the first one and then flip over to OLN and watch the end of today’s Tour de France stage; they’re racing up the infamous Alpe d’Huez today.

The first, Need To Know, deals with a very driven career woman who seems to want it all — but does she really? The word manipulative was coined to describe characters like this. A good story, but the conclusion could have been better. I gave it a solid B the first time around.

The second episode, Distractions, concerns a young man who suffered severe burns after crashing his ATV. It also shows House at his pettiest, harassing an old rival from earlier in his career. It also features the House treats his migraine with LSD and an antidepressant. A contrived and unispired episode that earned a D. Go watch the Tour!

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Want some fresh exciting medicine? Grand Rounds is the weekly collection of the best medical blogging on the web. It always features fascinating stories, advice, and insight into the medical field. Check it out this week at ChronicBabe.

Tags: television medicine house grand rounds.

A gynecologist by training, Benjamin Love wanted wanted to create the next evolutionary stage of mankind, a stage he called the “Genomorph.” He injected several of his pregnant patients with an expirmental medication ( of course, he didn’t tell them that — he told them that it was a vitamin injection).

Six of these women went into labor and gave birth at the same time. It was clear that something was abnormal about all the babies, so Dr. Love kidnapped them and fled to a remote ransh in the desert. There, he continued his experiments and raised the children as his own. After his death years later, the now teen-aged children discovered his diary and what had really happened to them. At first, they decided to become a hero team, but in the end, they ended up as the villanous Helix, opponents of Infinity Inc.

Two of Dr. Love’s patients fled back to Mexico and had their children there. One was Yolanda Montez, who became the second Wildcat, and the other became Carcharo, a humanoid shark.

• I’ve seen Dr. Love referred to as “Amos” Love (such as on Wikipedia), but the Infinity Inc. comics are pretty clear that his first name is Benjamin.
• Speaking of Wikipedia, here are the entries on Mister Bones and Yolanda Montez.
• Click here for the entire Dr. Love story from Infinity Inc #38 (warning: large file — but worth it to see a youthful Mr. Bones imitating Charley Brown.)
• Infinity Inc. and Helix micro-heroes

Tags: comics medicine dr love benjamin love helix mr bones wildcat .

Yesterday’s post dealt with a fictional unscrupulous obstetrician; today’s will focus on a real world case.

Dr. Cecil Jacobson ran an infertility clinic in an upper-class area of northern Virginia. He deserves to be on my Bad Doctor list for two reasons:

In the mid-1960s, Jacobson was a researcher at George Washington University Medical School when he claimed to have successfully impregnated a male baboon by transplanting a fertilized egg from a female baboon into the male’s abdominal cavity. Allegedly, the male baboon remained “in the family way” for four months until Dr. Jacobson terminated the pregnancy. Jacobson never published any data, research, or other information on this experiment, so his results are best viewed with heavy skepticism.

Jacobson’s real claim to infamy came in the 1991. At this time, Jacobson ran the Reproductive Genetics Center (an infertility clinic) that specialized in infertility counseling, in-vitro fertilization, and semen for artificial insemination. Jacobson claimed to use a specialized screening program to identify sperm donors who were the most similar to his patients’ husbands, but in reality he used his own sperm. His scheme came to light when one of his former patients noted that her child bore an uncanny resemblance to the doctor. It is believed that 75 of his patients received IVF using Jacobson’s “personal samples.” Only seven submitted to genetics testing, and all seven were indeed fathered by Jacobson. He was charged with 53 counts of fraud and served five years in prison.

• The Wikipedia article on Dr. Cecil Jacobson
• Script of the hilarious Saturday Night Live skit “My 75 Kids” starring John Goodman as Dr. Jacobson.
• Dr. Jacobson earns two coveted spots on the Museum of Hoxes page on “Birth Hoaxes.”
• The case appears in an article concerning “Natural Selection in Family Law: Legal Cases and Materials” (third paragraph down).
• A press release on the 1992 IgNobel Prize Ceremony, which included a prize won by Dr. Jacobson for “devising a simple, single-handed method of quality control.”
• IMDB entry on The Babymaker: The Dr. Cecil Jacobson Story, starring Melissa Gilbert, Shanna Reed, and George Dzundza as Dr. Jacobson.

Tags:medicine news cecil jacobson infertility.

I’ve talked about this subject briefly before, but I think Bad Doctor Week is a good time to expound on Scott’s Law of Comic Book Physicians: There are really only four types of physicians in super-hero comic books (and I think this holds true for most other genre fiction as well).

1. The (Generic) Doctor
These physicians are very capable and competent, but not geniuses. Generally two-dimensional, they often have an identifying trait (curmudgeonly, absent minded), physical characteristic (four arms), or quirk (histrionic); they probably have several of these traits instead of actual characterization.
Examples: Dr. Gym’ll, all the Star Trek doctors.

2. Surgeons
Calling a physician a “surgeon” is a writer’s shortcut for letting the reader know that the character is a superior physician, the best of the best. Never mind that these characters are rarely shown actually performing surgery but instead seem to act as primary care physicians, dealing with problems real surgeons wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. (This gets taken to extremes some times, such as the Spider-villain Cardiac being called a ’surgeon’ when ‘cardiologist’ would make more sense; or the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe calling Shaman a surgeon, when he’s never done anything remotely surgical.)
Examples: Dr. Strange, Dr. Mid-Nite (I and II), Donald Blake, Titania Weiss.

Corollary: The more specialized the surgeon, the better the physician. For example, Hush is not just a surgeon, but a neurosurgeon.

3. Psychiatrists
Calling a character a “psychiatrist” is writer’s shorthand for a character who is up to something or has their own agenda. Let’s face it, the only heroic psychiatrist is Leonard Samson, and even he has issues (I guess the newest Vigilante could also be considered a “hero” but he definitely has issues).
Examples: Harley Quinn, Moonstone, Dr Psycho (original version), Dr. Maxilla Yale

Corollary: Remember that comics have a history of confusing psychiatry and psychology, so this applies to most psychologists as well (e.g. Hugo Strange).

4. Family Doctors
A physician who is described as a family doctor or a general practitioner is always shown to display the classic characteristics of the traditional small town physician. They make house calls, carry a little black bag, deliver babies, and hold your hand as you lay dying.
Example: Dr. Bromwell

TO SUM UP: (generic) Doctor = Competent, mostly two dimensional character; likely quirky. Surgeon = Supremely competent physician. Psychiatrist = Someone who is smart (maybe too smart) and up to something. Family Doctor/General Practitioner = Caring physician.

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Notes:

1. I’m not considering the über-doctor a separate type because in general über-doctors are scientists who just happen to also know medicine, not the other way around.
2. Dr. Love is the only non-surgical non-psychiatrist specialist I can recall seeing in a comic. Where are all the mad gastroenterologists, perturbed pulmonologists, and evil pediatricians out for revenge?

Here’s a reference to Dr. Donald Blake as a surgeon, from Journey into Mystery #93 (or in this case, from Essential Thor Volume 1):

Tags: comics medicine thor donald blake surgeon.

You’ve decided that you want to become a surgeon in the Marvel Universe. Good for you! But now you wonder what your precise professional obligations will be.

Dr. Donald Blake has kindly offered to demonstrate the standard duties required of a Marvel Universe surgeon:

Surgery	House Calls
Medical Missions to Foreign Lands
Inventions	Biological Warfare
Lab Research	Yearly Physicals
Sports Medicine

Tags: comics medicine thor donald blake surgeon.

From Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #78 comes this pretty useless PSA about hobbies. First, I think the title is misleading. They don’t want you to learn from your hobbies, they want you to learn from other people’s hobbies! Poor Jim — who already knows a great deal about airplanes (his hobby) — now has to learn from Brad, the creepy stamp collecting kid from next door who barges in without knocking. With my luck, I’d end up having to learn from a worm farmer or a compost maker.

Also note the typo in the second panel, unless “lof” is some early 60’s slang word I’m unaware of.

Oh, and good luck flying over Mt. Everest, Jim.

Click on the image for the full PSA

Tags: comics psa stamps airplanes

Tonight’s House episodes are repeats of the thirteenth and fourteenth episodes of the second season of House. They’re both good episodes.

The first episode, Skin Deep, is one of the more infamous episodes of the season. It concerns a teen supermodel who may be more than she lets on. The medical mystery and ultimate diagnosis were clever, but there were more than a few “how did they miss that?” moments. I gave it a solid B the first time around.

Sex Kills, the second episode, has a two small medical mysteries, but is mostly a character show looking in on husbands and wives. The medicine is good and it gets extra points for starring Howard Hesseman (Johnny Fever from WKRP in Cincinatti). I gave the episode a B+.

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Want to read even more medical stories? Grand Rounds is the weekly collection of the best medical blogging on the web. It always features fascinating stories, advice, and insight into the medical field. Check it out this week at Medical Humanities.

Tags: television medicine house grand rounds.

1. Death is Rare

“Well Jimmy, you’ve fallen off a twenty story building into the path of a speeding bullet train which ran you over and knocked you down a hillside of broken glass into a shark tank, where you were bitten by several great white sharks but you managed to climb out by grabbing a wire — which happened to be a downed live wire — the shock of which catapulted you into the hot tar a road crew was spreading on the street. They rescued you, but not before you were run over, twice, by the steamroller. So how do you feel.”

“A little winded, but not bad, doc.”

2. Medication takes effect immediately
None of this real world timing, where antibiotics will take about twenty-four hours to start working, and injections take fifteen minutes.

“This alien virus has got me beat — I’ve got double vision, acne, nausea, muscle aches, and a fever of 104° F” {pops pill} “Aha! All better! Now to continue my fight for justice!”

3. There’s always a doctor around when you need one.
Every team, from the multiple X-teams to the smallest band of pirates, seems to have their own doctor or medical professional. Looking back over the Avengers roster and they’ve had what — three or four doctors on the team over the years? Heck, even the Defenders managed to have a doctor on the team. And even if your team doesn’t have a doctor, your neighborhood family doctor can always make a house call (at least in the Marvel Universe).

4. Plastic Surgery is Perfect
The only people who have scars are those who need them to look either A) menacing, or B) pitiful. Comic books tell us that a good surgeon can make anybody look exactly like anybody else. Not to mention that they can repair Harvey Dent’s horribly acid scarred face to look exactly like it did before, several times (now ask yourself, where are they getting the skin to repair Harvey’s face?).

5. No Insurance Hassles or other Red Tape

“I’m sorry Mr. Man — I mean Iron Man — but your insurance specifically required you to pay a $5 co-pay before you can be seen for any medical services. I realize it’s hard to carry around spare cash in that outfit, but the rules are the rules.”

I want to apologize for the relative death dearth of postings this week. I have my Family Practice re-certification test this weekend, and things are a little frantic as I try to get some last minute studying in. I know I deal with the subject on a daily basis, but the exam writers always seem to focus on obscure rarely-seen bits of medical trivia. My poise swings like a pendulum from suave confidence to sheer terror.

Right now I seem to be stuck at terror.

Thank God I only have to take this test every seven years.

“Dallan and Sepsis Preserve Us!”

Those of you who read the Marvel Comics series Micronauts during the ’80s no doubt recognize that sentence, while those of you with less comics knowledge but more medical background are understandably puzzled. It was a common oath muttered (or screamed) by the denizens of Homeworld whenever danger threatened.

A little background: A thousand years ago, King Dallan Rann and Queen Sepsis Rann were the rulers of Homeworld, the lead “planet” in the Microverse. They sent their only son Arcturus Rann out to the far reached of the universe on a thousand-year quest for knowledge¹. Shortly after he left, Dallan and Sepsis were killed by their son’s tutor, Baron Karza², who went on the conquer Homeworld and the rest of the Microverse and set himself up as dictator. Upon returning from his voyage and discovering what had happened in the Micorverse while he had been gone, Arcturus Rann took the name Space Glider and joined the Resistance trying to drive Karza from power. With the other core members of the Resistance (Marionette, Bug, Acroyear, Microtron and Biotron), Rann formed the Micronauts³.

Personally, I think it’s a clever bit of storytelling to have the modern denizens of the Microverse revere Dallan and Sepsis Rann as saints or demi-gods. It ties together the past and present of the Microverse (but for Space Glider, it’s got to be a bit creepy having your girlfriend pray to your dead parents).

Dallan is a good name. According to Wikipedia, in the Christian context it means “blind,” named after the blind Irish poet Saint Dallan Forgaill. It’s also an Arabic word meaning “lost” which can be used in several contexts including a loss of the true religion. It’s not an uncommon name for boys.

Sepsis, on the other hand, is an unfortunate choice for a name. Sepsis is the medical term for an overwhelming infection of the entire body, though the term is also used to refer to the body’s response to this overwhelming infection. Regardless, sepsis is frequently fatal and always represents a tough battle to survive. Not the best name for a beautiful Queen, though I doubt writer Bill Mantlo was aware of the actual meaning of Sepsis when he chose the name⁴. Still, it’s hard not to chuckle whenever I see a character praying to “Sepsis.”

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NOTES:
¹Not the really best plan to insure the continuance of your dynasty.
²If I were undisputed ruler of the Microverse, I would have chosen something better than Baron. King, or Emporer maybe.
³Though I notice the team was now called the Microns when they appeared in Peter David’s Captain Marvel. I suspect it has to due with the rights to name Micronauts.
⁴Though Mantlo also named another beautiful female character Slug, so maybe he used the term on purpose.

Previous fond memories of the Micronauts:Micronauts #26-28 (The Micronauts and S.H.I.E.L.D. fight Karza) Micronauts #29-35 (The quest for the origin of the Microverse).

Tags: comics