Polite Dissent

While reading through some issues of Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane, I was astounded by how fickle Lois was. Allegedly in love with Superman, she seemed to be getting engaged to someone else almost every other issue. I decided to count how many time Lois had been engaged or married, and these are the results I came up with. You’ll notice that I’m not counting imaginary or future stories; only canon stories are listed (though admittedly most were pre-Crisis and pre-reboot). Also, I only have slightly more than half the issues of Lois Lane and a few scattered Superman titles so I’m sure there are many more engagements/marriages that I’m missing.

Engagements:

• Engaged to Dino Del Monaco in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #10 (July 1959). Lois met Dino while on an assignment in Italy. She broke the engagement when she discovered he was a con man. Reprinted in 80-pg Giant #3
• Engaged to the super-powered Native American Strong Bear in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #49 (May 1964). It turns out he was really an ugly little blue alien. Reprinted in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #113.
• Engaged to Epimetheus in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #56 (April 1965). Sent back in time, Lois becomes the Pandora of legend.
• Engaged to Titanman in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #79 (November 1967). Lois found herself in a bizarre alternate dimension where she was thrown in jail. She was rescued from prison by the super-hero Titanman and agreed to marry him only to discover that she would be his seventh wife. Luckily Superman was able to return her to her correct dimension before the wedding could take place.
• Engaged to astronaut Rand Kirby in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #80-81 (January, February 1968). After Superman misses her birthday party, Lois starts a new life in Coral City where she fallis in love with Kirby. (My reviews of these issues.)
• Engaged to Kryptonian scientist Dahr-Nel in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #90 (February 1969). After Superman’s upsets her with a fake wedding, Lois agrees to marry Dahr-Nel and escape to the future. (My review)
• Engaged to the demonic Satdev in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #103 (August 1970). I really can’t explain this one except to say that Lois’s curiosity manages to get her engaged to a satyr-like man from another planet.
• Engaged to Clark Kent in Superman (Second Series) #50 (December 1990) — engagement broken in Action Comics #720 (April 1996)
• Engaged to the criminal Naga in Superman: The Wedding Album (December 1996).
• Re-engaged to Clark Kent in Superman: The Wedding Album (December 1996).

Marriages:

• Marries Superman in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #82 (April 1968). The marriage was part of a plan to capture some criminals from the future. Superman offered to stay married, but Lois declined, wanting Superman to marry her for the right reasons.
• Marries death-row convict Johnny Adonis in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #105 (October 1970). Lois owes him a favor for saving her life, so she marries him shortly before he is to be exectured.
• Marries Clark Kent in Superman: The Wedding Album (December 1996).

Near-Misses:

• Lois is nearly engaged to Mark Benton in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #3 (July/August 1958). Mark Benton is suave and rich and looks exactly like Clark Kent. Lois is in love with him and Mark is going to propose, but her snooping makes him change his mind. Reprinted in Lois Lane Annual #1 and Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #99.
• Lois may or may not be engaged to Roger Warner in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #24 (April 1961). Lois is dating the rich and very accomplished Roger Warner. They may even be engaged (the script seems to hint at it). They call it quits after a gust of wind blows off Roger’s toupee revelaing him to be completely bald. To be fair to Lois, Roger is the one who is ashamed and calls it off. Reprinted in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #88.
• Almost Engaged to Petronius in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #33 (May 1962). Sent back to the ancient days by a “time bomb,” Lois becomes involved in a slave revolt. The leader of the revolt Petronius has asked her to marry him and she is in the middle of saying “yes” when she is whisked back to her own time. Reprinted in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #95.
• Atlantean scientist Ron-Thul wants to marry her in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #42 (July 1963). She refuses to marry him when she discovers that he is evil — though the fact that he looked exactly like Luthor and his name was a near-anagram of Luthor should have given it away. Reprinted in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #104.
• Lois is forced to marry Clark Kent by a tribe of lost vikings in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #53 (Novemeber 1964). Luckily Superman rescues them before the ceremony can take place. Reprinted in Superman Family #177.
• Engaged to Herko in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #57 (May 1965). Lois travels to the dimension where her monster friend Herko lives. Herko wants to get married and tells everyone that they’re engaged, but Lois doesn’t share his sentiment. She escapes, dignity intact, when it turns out that Herko is allergic to her make up. Reprinted in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #113)
• Marries Superman in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #90 (February 1969). Superman stages a fake wedding with Lois to draw out some criminals. Unfortunately, he forgets to tell Lois that it’s fake and she flounces off in a huff to marry Dahr-Nel (see above).
• Biron wants to marry Lois in Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #92 (May 1969). Lois and Biron are in love, but there’s a problem. You see, Biron is the human identity of Comet the Super-Horse. He asks the goddess Circe to make him permanently human so he can marry Lois, but an evil magician intervenes and turns Lois into a super-horse. This issue is more than a little creepy (and not in the good “Halloween creepy” way, more in the “I-need-a-shower-right-now creepy”).