Polite Dissent

At the end of the previous issue, Lois “Lorne” had decided to stay in Coral City and Superman returned to Metropolis. Now don’t feel sorry for Lois — she’s already engaged to her new boyfriend, “hunky” astronaut Rand Kirby¹.

On the other hand, Clark Kent is having a tough time. He can’t take his mind of Lois. He changes into Superman and decides to go back in time and fix everything that got Lois mad at him in the first place. He fails spectacularly².

Meanwhile, Lois is assisting her boss Dr. Culver with a new experiment. He’s testing a new “mind gas” that is supposed to turn criminals into upstanding citizens. Either that, or it kills the person. The local prison has allowed Dr. Culver to test the drug on four death row criminals³. The death row prisoners escape and hold Lois hostage. Superman arrives and captures the escapees. During the struggle, Lois is exposed to the experimental mind gas.

The gas doesn’t kill Lois⁴, but it does give her a monster headache and she passes out. When she wakes up, she discovers that she’’s gained the ability to read minds. Peeking into Superman’s thoughts, she discovers that he truly loves her. She realizes that she still loves him and resolves to break up with Rand.

Rand’s parents are in town and are taking the couple out for dinner. Lois decides not to break up with him then, because that would just be tacky. At dinner, she discovers that her telepathy has disappeared but now she has gained the ability to predict the future. She receives a vision of Superman trapped in space by a kryptonite-laden satellite. She knows Rand is the only one who can save him, but Rand’s superiors don’t believe Lois’s story. Then their telescope reveals that Superman is indeed trapped by the satellite, so they decide to send Rand into space to rescue him⁵.

Lois sneaks into the space capsule shortly before lift off and takes the place of the robotic co-pilot.

Lois: I’ve learned all about these space ships while covering launchings for the Planet!

As the space capsule nears the satellite, Lois spacewalks out to the satellite and saves Superman. Rand also leaves the capsule to help Superman. Their air hoses get tangled and now Superman has to save the two of them. Once again, Lois passes out⁶. This time when she wakes up, Rand tells her that he know she really loves Superman and sadly lets her return to Metropolis.

This story deserves an award just for its use of tired plot devices. Death row criminals. Holes to China. Experimental medication. Telepathy and precognition that conveniently resolve by the end of the story. A new fiancee and an old boyfriend. They don’t make comics like this anymore (and that may not be a bad thing).

The “medical experiment” aspect is ludicrous. No respectable doctor or scientist would ever attempt such an experiment. First of all, there are strict requirements for any experiment that uses human subjects. The hospital review board would never approve this experiment — the risks are too high and the benefits too low. Second, the test only involved four subjects; that’s not enough to prove anything positive or negative. For very rare diseases and conditions, small experiments may be a necessity –– but this is a test on “criminal thoughts” — an all too common condition.

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Notes:
¹How many times has Lois been engaged? I’d be interested in seeing a list. I bet she’s had at least a dozen fiancées at one point or another. I doubt any other woman (or character) in comics has had more.

²This is one of the stupidest things Superman has ever done. In the previous issue he missed Lois’s birthday party because he was smashing junked cars and lost track of time.
Now if you or I had the power to travel in time, it would be a no-brainer: go back and attend Lois’s party. Easy, right? Wrong. Superman decides to go back and smash the cars faster this time. Then he smashes too hard and knocks one of the cars clear through the Earth to China. This sets him behind schedule so he misses the party again. (So what happened to the Superman from that time? Why didn’t he make the party? He wasn’’t smashing cars, because that was the Superman-from-the-future.)

³The leader of these criminals is named “Strangler.” Here’s a hint: never trust someone named “Strangler.”

⁴Nor does it cure her criminal tendencies, as Lois is breaking and entering within just a few pages.

⁵So Lois’s precognition didn’t matter at all. Rand went up in the space capsule anyway.

⁶She does this a lot, doesn’t she?