Polite Dissent

Today’s Lois Lane Friday is actually going to focus on Lana Lang with the imaginary* story “The Day Superman Married Lana Lang” from Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #26 (July 1961). Kurt Schaffenberger pencils the story, but it’s not clear who scripted it, possibly Jerry Siegel. The story is also reprinted in 80-Page Giant #3.

Lana Lang spies Clark Kent changing into Superman and deduces once and for all that Clark is Superman. She confesses the truth to him and asks him to use his super-hypnotism to erase the secret from her mind. With that request, Superman realizes how generous Lana is and discovers that he is in love with her.

They get married soon after and Superman flies Lana to his Fortress of Solitude. While there, he gives her a special serum to drink. This serum “containing a speck of the rare element, korium-66-beta, will give you super-powers because you have blood-type A! It wouldn’t work for Lois because she has blood-type O!”

To my knowledge, this is the first mention of Lana’s blood-type. Lois’s type O blood was also mentioned in Lois Lane #106 . However, Superman #125 mentions that Lois has a “rare blood type” which doesn’t make sense because type O blood is the most common type (in the U.S., anyway). Continuity was never much of a sticking point in the Silver Age.

Lana and Superman move to a floating estate and have adventures as Mr. and Mrs. Superman. As luck would have it, Lana is immune to kryptonite because she got her powers from the serum. She rescues Superman several times from crooks that have the green element, and he falls into a depression because no man like his wife to save him, right? Right?

An exposure to red kryptonite drives Superman mad and it takes all of Super-Lana’s abilities to stop him from destroying Metropolis. After that, she packs her bags and flies off into space forever, knowing that he’ll never be able to live with his lack of self-respect and her pity.

Sniff, sniff. Thank goodness it’s just an imaginary tale. I’ve never seen Superman look this pathetic before. Swallow your pride, man! And Lana pities him because he can’t handle Kryptonite? He never could in the first place, and you loved him then! Good grief!! Where’s a good marriage counselor when you need one?

---

*not “imaginary” as in I made it up, but “imaginary” as in what DC called its Elseworlds and “What If” style stories during the Silver Age.