Polite Dissent

Before he wrote such compassionate comics as Wanted and Chosen, Mark Millar honed his writing skills on Superman for the Animals, a free comic published by DC Comics in January 2000 and co-sponsored by the Doris Day Animal Foundation. The story, entitled “Dear Superman…”, was written by Millar with art by comic book veterans Tom Grummet and Dick Giordano.

The comic tells the story of Tommy, a twelve year-old who moves to a new city and falls in with the wrong crowd. How do we know they’re the wrong crowd? Because they discuss comic books, of course (“Batman can beat Superman?! Man you need a shrink to take a look inside that crazy head of yours.”) Seriously, we know they’re a bad crowd because they’re cruel to animals. When we first meet gang leader Ballser, he is teasing a caged squirrel. This is followed by kicking pigeons, torturing goldfish, shooting junkyard dogs and throwing a kitten off an overpass onto a busy freeway below.

Luckily, Superman happens along just then (you knew he had to be in this comic eventually, after all his name is on the cover) and catches the kitten. Next, he stops a fire at the local chemical plant and manages to save Tommy’s dad. Watching Superman, Tommy realizes that it’s wrong to “pick on anyone weaker than you.”

Meanwhile, Ballser and the rest of the gang (Charlie, Donuts, and Eightball — no, really, that’s their names) have killed the science teacher’s pet squirrel. Tommy confronts Ballser and a fight breaks out between the two of them. Tommy lands the first punch, but then Ballser punches him repeatedly, first with his fists and then with a handy CD rack. Finally, he throws a small suitcase at Tommy. This suitcase conveniently breaks open, spilling out dozens of collars of local pets that had gone missing or been killed. Horrified, the rest of the group finally realized that hurting animals is bad (well, except for Ballser who attempts to go after Tommy with a baseball bat.) Tommy, Donuts, Charlie and Eightball fess up to the science teacher, and to make amends Tommy and Donuts volunteer at the local animal shelter. Ballser meanwhile finds himself dealing with the police and “sent into heavy duty therapy with a psychologist.” Tommy adopts the cat Superman saved, and then he and Donuts discover something better than maiming innocent animals: girls.

Besides the story and five pages of DC house ads, Superman for the Animals also contains a the alliterative Comics for Compassion Coloring Contest, where children 8-12 got to color a picture of Superman and tell DC Comics how they would help animals if they had super powers. The winner got the chance to appear in a DC comic along with their favorite pet. Sadly, I don’t know if this ever came to pass.

Other Interesting Facts about Superman for the Animals:

• The New England Anti-Vivisection Society (NEAVS) was originally scheduled to run a full color ad in the comic, but DC got cold feet at the last minute and canceled the ad “faster than a speeding bullet” NEAVS’s website tells us. The ad was then scheduled to run in the first issue of Bongo’s Bart Comics. (I can find no listing of any Bart Comics, I assume they mean Simpsons Comics Present Bart Simpson).
• Being cruel to animals is one of the diagnostic criteria for conduct disorder.
• 67,000 copies of the comic were released to comic book stores, packaged with copies of Batman: Gotham Adventures, Superman Adventures, Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E., Impulse, and Hourman (where I found my copy). I don’t think any of these titles still being published today. Not a good sign.
• An additional 6,500 copies were distributed by the Doris Day Animal Foundation to scout troops, social workers, school teachers, and social workers. Sadly, their supply is now exhausted and the comic remains out of print. However, it seems that their second Comics for Compassion, X-Men Unlimited #44, is still available.
• A vegetarian activist site proudly proclaims that “Mark Millar, author of Superman for the Animals, is a vegetarian.”
• Superman for the Animals can currently be found on eBay for $1-2, X-Men Unlimited #44 for 99?, and Simpson Comics present Bart Simpson can usually be found for 99? as well. Collector’s items each and every one. But them, save them, and send your kids to college.