The Legion of Super-Sickos

August 23rd, 2004

Filed under: Comics, Medicine

It was brought to my attention recently that Tenzil Kem (Matter-Eater-Lad) surely suffers from pica. This made me wonder what other medical conditions occur members of the Legion of Super-Heroes might suffer from. Looking closely ath the membership roster, I noticed a few physical diagnoses. However, what surprised me was the sheer number of pyschiatric disorders within the group. It certainly brought certain characters behaviors into a new light…

Braniac-5
 Schizoid Personailty Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
Dreamer REM Sleep Movement Disorder
Element-Lad Psychotic (homicidal maniac)
Ferro Avoidant Personality Disorder
Gates Schizoid Personality Disorder
Kinetix Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Leviathan Gigantism, Dead
Livewire Amputee, Depersonalization Disorder
Monstress Dead
Sensor Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Shrinking Violet Avoidant Personality Disorder, Gigantism, Dependant Personality Disorder (when with the Emerald Eye)
Timber Wolf Antisocial Personality Disorder
Triad Multiple Personality Disorder (now called Dissociative Identity Disorder)
Ultra-Boy Attention Deficit Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, probable Borderline Personality Disorder
XS Attention Deficit Disorder with Hyperactivity

 

"Classic" Legion (not otherwise covered above)

Bouncing Boy Obesity
Infectious Lass Infectious (duh)
Sunboy Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Matter-Eater-Lad Pica (thanks to David Lawson for pointing out this obvious fact and getting this whole ball rolling)

 

"Five Years Later" Legion

Blokk Dead
Furball Hirsutism
Sean/Svaughn Erin Gender Identity Disorder

 

Selected Villains and Supporting Characters

Cub (son of Apparition and Ultra Boy) ??
Fatal Five (every member except Validus) Histrionic Personality Disorder, Dependant Personality Disorder (Emerald Empress)
Roxxas Schizophrenic, Psychotic (Homicidal Maniac)

There’s so many medical issues that it’s no wonder that poor Dr. Gym’ll needs four arms.! It also makes me realize that the Legion of Super-Heroes would be the perfect setting for an after school special (”Oh, Ayla, I can’t go outside. All the boys will laugh at me!”). But that’s a topic for another day….

6 Responses to “ The Legion of Super-Sickos ”

  1. Johnny Bacardi
    August 23rd, 2004 at 10:42 pm

    Hey, you lay off of Kinetix! Ya big bully!

    Aw, I kid- great article, lotsa fun.

  2. TangognaT » health problems of superheroes
    August 23rd, 2004 at 10:58 pm

    […] s
    Filed under: comics — tangognat @ 8:58 pm

    Over at Polite Dissent, a breakdown of all of the ailments that affict the Legion of Superheroes. Man, Braniac 5 is really messed up […]

  3. Greg Morrow
    August 24th, 2004 at 10:44 am

    Is it not the case that Gym’ll has three arms?

  4. Chris Galdieri
    August 24th, 2004 at 10:51 am

    I think the number of arms Gym’ll has depends on who’s drawing him. Scott, surely Wildfire should be on the list as a total body amputee, and a possibly bipolar one at that?

  5. Scott
    August 24th, 2004 at 3:34 pm

    There were a couple I wasn’t sure what to do with. Wildfire was one of those (probably a Depersonalization Disorder, like the current Livewire/Element Lad). A few others had some issues, but not bad enough to be counted (like Umbra in the post-Zero Hour Legion: stuck-up and impolite, but I don’t think it was pathological.

  6. David Lawson
    August 25th, 2004 at 10:39 am

    I inspired this? *sniff* I can’t believe it! I’m a muse!

    Consider this post linked.

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