Allergies

It’s prime ragweed and hay fever season here in the Mid-West. My most common reason for patient visits this week has been allergies.

Allergies are no fun for anyone, but there’s definitely certain characters for whom allergies would be even worse. Here’s the list I came up with:

Tigra
Doctor: “I’m sorry Ms. Grant, but you’re allergic to cats.”

Thor
“Forsooth! Mine sneeze hath leveled that house!”

M.O.D.O.K.
Just imagine all the snot that would come from that giant nose. Come to think of it, I’m actually surprised that no one has written a story where M.O.D.O.K has allergies (or would that be M.O.D.O.S.* or M.O.D.O.R.N.I.E.S.**?).

Dr. Doom
Just try sneezing inside a metal face mask. Would also apply to Iron Man, Crimson Dynamo, War Machine, etc. etc.

All-star Batman
“I’m the godd - ACHOO!! I’m the go - ACHOO!! I’m the - ACHOO!! Eh, forget it.”

Superman
Itchy, watery eyes interfere with x-ray vision. If you want to rob a bank in Metropolis, do it during allergy season.

Madrox
Every time he sneezes, a double is formed.

Wolverine
Hard to track by scent when you’re all stuffed up.

The Human Bomb
Pretty self explanatory.


*Mental Organism Destined Only for Sneezing
**Mental Organism Destined Only for Runny Nose, Itchy Eyes, and Sneezing

MODOK tells you to buy, or die!

8 Responses to “ Allergies ”

  1. Technically Wolverine’s mutation IS Allergies. Allergies so powerful, they fix themselves.

  2. Maybe MODOK and Doom are allergic to squirrels.

    Would explain a lot.

  3. Every time he sneezes, a double is formed.

    Didn’t that actually happen in an episode of Evolution? Or am I remembering that wrong?

  4. if squirrel girls power is that she can win as long as she’s completely outclassed
    than how can she be underclassed and therefore lose?

  5. I know I’ve seen Spidey get more than a few colds where he’s sneezing/vomiting inside the facemask, but you don’t hear much about superhero allergies. Might be a fun topic to explore.

  6. Dazzler’s allergies are really bothersome at night.

  7. I remember reading an X-men fanfic… Ah! Magneto’s Cold. Pure comedy gold.

    “Regally, the mutant pulled out a Kleenex and blew his nose, debating internally the pros and cons of actually trying the cold remedies he’d gotten as he picked his way through the remains of the Blackbird. Much of it joined his happy swarm of trailing metal as he went by the assorted stunned X-Men and headed for home.”

  8. There was a story in Marvel Fanfare whose total purpose was to detail what would happen if Tony Stark sneezed inside his armour. I regret to this day never having read it.

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