Polite Dissent

Before turning my attention to Amazing Spider-Man #544, I want to take a last look at some of the more ludicrous aspects of the previous issue. In particular, I want discuss the last portion of the comic where Peter steals an ambulance and moves Aunt May from one hospital to another. It is my contention that Peter’s actions were entirely selfish in nature and actually detrimental to Aunt May’s medical care.

The first hospital has been caring for Aunt May since her injury. They have been closely following her condition, and there is no indication that she received anything other than exemplary care.

Meanwhile, the hospital has reported the case to the police as being suspicious. This should come as no surprise because almost every state legally requires hospitals and physicians to notify the authorities of certain types of injuries, including gunshot wounds.

When the police stop by to investigate, Peter makes things worse by slugging the cop. Bear in mind that he makes things worse for himself, not Aunt May. Peter attacking the police has no bearing Aunt May’s medical care — she will continue to receive the same quality care she has received since admission. Even if Peter is arrested — and even if he is sent to prison in the Negative Zone — Aunt May’s medical care will not suffer. Frankly, the hospital personnel don’t care one whit about him; they care about Aunt May.

Nevertheless, Peter decides that Aunt May needs to be moved to a different hospital. Why? Not for her sake, certainly. She’s getting good care at the first hospital, and the care at the second hospital will not be as good, at least at first. To begin with, the second hospital is not going to have the medical records she’s amassed since her admission. They won’t know what medications she’s on and what procedures have been performed. They won’t know her labs or vitals and how they’ve been changing. At a minimum, there will be a several hour period where Aunt May’s medical care is going to suffer as she is transported and then admitted to the second hospital. Peter is moving her in an effort to save his skin — he’s trying to avoid the police and other authorities. The move is for his sake, not hers.

Aunt May is on a ventilator and multiple IV medications. She would be a tough transport for an experienced ambulance crew, let alone Peter and Mary Jane (plus an experienced crew would know to bring her in through the ambulance bay, not through the ER waiting room. That by itself should have been enough to alert the nurse on duty that something was screwy).

At most, Peter has bought himself a few hours. When the very ill Aunt May is brought to the new hospital, they’re not just going to admit her without questions. First, the paperwork is wrong*. Second, does he think the second hospital is not going to contact the initial hospital and ask them to fax over her medical records ASAP? Of course they are! Plus he was kind enough to steal a transfer form from the first hospital, so there won’t be any question where she came from. Third, Aunt May still has a gunshot wound which is still reportable. I think the authorities will be pretty quick to pick up on the fact that an old lady disappeared from one hospital and a second showed up with an identical wound at a second hospital, even if the last names don’t match. Finally, the second hospital is going to be very suspicious of patient dumping by the first hospital and report Aunt May as a possible EMTALA violation, which will involve an entirely new set of authorities looking closely into the case.

I understand that the underlying theme of this issue is that “Peter is so desperate he is forced to commit felonies” and I further understand that this comic is a prime example of modern Marvel storytelling (get the character from plot point A to plot point B and damn the torpedoes). It just pains me to see common sense and logic (and good medical care) thrown out the window to achieve these goals.

*Not only do you need a transferring doctor (the signature that Peter forged), you need an accepting doctor at the new hospital. This is actually the more important part and you’re not going to be able to transfer a patient without a physician ready to accept care.