Technobabble Theater starring Iron Man
This near perfect example of technobabble comes from Iron Man #14, in the scene where Iron Man is explaining to Spider-Man how he managed to override his spider-sense. Iron Man’s pronouncement sure sounds scientific until you break down what he’s actually saying and realize it makes no sense whatsoever.
“isolated its frequency” That almost makes sense — spider-sense may have a frequency — but then he goes and contradicts it with the rest of the sentence. Since when does smell have a frequency?
“neural net” Iron Man can build all the neural networks he wants — and they might even replicate Spider-Man’s spider-sense — but unless he manages to build one inside Spider-Man, it’s not going to work the way he wants it to.
“pheromone-based defenses” So Spider-Man essentially smells danger? He can smell a bullet being shot at him? Or a laser moving the speed of light? Maybe Iron Man’s just saying that Spider-Man smells horrible and no one wants to get near him.
June 8th, 2007 at 6:03 am
Hear, hear. There’s such a thing as being too influenced by Grant Morrison and Warren Ellis.
June 8th, 2007 at 11:56 am
If I remember right, the Spider-Sense must have a frequency, because Spider-Tracers used to broadcast on it. And there’s also at least one occasion where Dr Doom used a giant radio strapped to an even gianter yet spider to walkie-talkie directly to Spidey’s brain, but that was like forty years ago.
But, yeah, sure as Hell ain’t pheromones.
Also, wouldn’t Iron Man have access to both the Venom symbiote and Norman Osborne, two things that have managed to totally block Spidey’s Spider-Sense in the past? Green Goblin managed to nullify the stuff with gas at least once, and Venom’s a natural blank spot.
June 8th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
IIRC Venom is a blind spot, because the spider-sense got used to the presence of the alien symbiont.
Regarding the frequency of the pheromones - asronomers are able to find out which sorts of atoms are in a star by analysing its light. Maybe IM is using something similar.
June 8th, 2007 at 3:57 pm
I love how Iron Nazi brags out his discovery made by invading Spider-Man’s privacy and trust.
June 9th, 2007 at 1:44 am
Maybe, maybe this can make a little no-prize sense if we work it through.
He “isolated the frequency” of the spider-sense, which is justified, things have ‘broadcast’ to it in previous comics.
He created a “neural net that replicates…” It’s a little bit of a leap, but maybe what’s he talking about is a neural net that duplicates the mental aspect of the spidey sense. If he can do that, he could likely send out a jamming frequency to counter it.
But how to send a message to Pete’s nerve system? How about a “pheromone-based” delivery system.
I guess what I’m guessing at is that he’s jamming Spidey’s spider-sense by emitting a pheromone that prevents the activation of whatever neurotransmitters are used in the process.
You know what? That’s too much thinking. Those are three wholly inaccurate uses of those terms, even for technobabble.
June 9th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
My second guess is that Iron Man wants to confuse Spidey with Technobabble.
Peter follows the wrong trail to create a counter-measure, meanwhile Tony patents the Iron-sense and makes another fortune with military applications.
June 25th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
[…] Polite Scott presents Technobabble Theater. […]
September 5th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
[…] “I isolated its frequency and created a neural net that replicates your pheromone-based defenses!” […]
July 17th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Of course the spidersense has a frequency. You can actually see it’s wavy lines everytime Spiderman anounces “spidersense… tingling”.
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